Tis The Season For Happiness

So, it has been some time since I have posted so wanted to give a large update on many interesting things!

- Okay a few weeks ago I posted an entry about how hard of a time I was having fighting my daughter and her bedtime routine. Well, I am proud to announce that for the last two whole weeks I have put her to bed on my own and only had to go in once on a few nights...other than that there are no more fits...no more getting up fifty time, no more fighting her. I am not even sure what I am doing differently. BUt, I just began putting her to bed and letting her know I would see her int he morning and just like that...she began falling asleep on her own and no fits or problem...so maybe it was just a phase...sucks it was a 1 year things but it is over...yea!!!!!!

- Christmas is upon us and this year I am especially excited! This year we were ableto do well by our own family and by a few adopted families....which pleased me greatly that we were abble to do that.

- Our new puppy is growing greatly and doing quite well. She's a handful and as I suspected I am the one primarily caring for even though we had a good two toher people (boys and men) in the house swear it would be on them...lol...but she has become a great addition to our home.

- I no longer am caring for the 4 small children I was watching int eh evening--you remember them thier mother was the one who drove me craxy with her in-capability to take care of her children- well I had to turn her over to child services after I found out she was allower her unstable 4 yr old to attend after her 1 yr old on her own while she ran errands and such...ahhhh...so it was a double edged sword for me...lost 1700 a month in my income but did what was best for the children- she no longer is in care of any of them- I guess she was already on her 3rd strike....ahhh soo sad....but I had no choice in my situation. But I must admot I have loved having my weekends back to myself!

- I will after the new year be taking on a few new children of which I am very excited about- 2 boys around 18 months old- not siblings....also signed a new 5 yr old a week ago. Kinda refreshing after having soo many girls around (I only had my 2 sons and one other boy the rest were girls) and now it looks to be flipping...so it ought to be kinda interesting. Also had one of my day time boys go to nights.

- As of today i have baked 22 loafs of bread- banana, apple strussle and cinnamon strussel. Baked well over 300 cookies......

- Today- I woke up went to the store and began cleaning the house...when I got to the kitchen---SUPRISE SUPRISE My PIPES ARE FRZEN....and only in the kitchen...of all places....so all day I have been doing my dishes in the shower and tubs of water...this is soo not a good time to be having freezing pipes with all the cooking that goes ont his time of year. But, I bear with it....called the landlord and he said nothing he can do right now...so I hope they don't burst tonight....

- Ok so there's a little overview- oh ya an dmy daughters hair....hmm still looks bad but shes gotten used to wearing a hat when we go out...lol

Having a great Holiday everyone!!!

Sat.- Sun.- Mon.- Tue You can find Me.........

Recklessly slamming my head into the wall!!! No kidding you stop by my home on any of those eveings...after 8pm. You'd prolly think somone was drying inside of my house...from all my head banging, moans and more! Those night are by far the most stressfull eveings I have! And to boot those are the nights I have my over night kids on top of my own! Those nights cause me to feel like I am having a nervous break down....I have words in my head I never thought I could even come up with on those nights. I have feelings of complete dispair and failure on those nights. I try and try each night to make it different...but alas always the same! On those nights....I grab the pillow and scream into it or if feeling really ballsy I step outside and scream! Its a loud scream to. On those nights you can find me completely calm until about 7:45 when I know the fight is coming. The fight of all fights. The fight many parents have delt with. It's been delt with for decades upon decades. I have advice for everyone else on this fight....and it works for them...heck works for me too....but not on these nights. On these nights...the soon to be hubby is at work which intensifies the fight and the frustration.....hmm have you guessed what the fight is....i bet many mothers have...

Its the age old fight over sleep. The fight for me to sleep.....the fight to get my daughter to sleep!!!!!! She's almost 3.5. And for some reason I have failed in her bed time routine. Everything has worked for my two boys and the countless number of nightly children I keep...but NOT FOR HER! I have tried not letting her take naps...nope doesn't work, I have tried being extra loving, tried letting her wear herself out, tried bribing, tried letting her watch a video, tried being realy stern and steady on it every night. NOTHING WORKS!!! I go in lay her down..thats done and the easy part...but within minutes shes out of her bed...for something or nothing. I put her back and back and back.....no matter which approach I take shes up till at least 11. And up by 5-6am. This is killing me...not because I need the sleep because I am normally up later than that and up at the same time she is...but just the fact that I can't figure her out. I know shes tryign to break me! And each night I stand sturn but oh my gosh!!! I got so desperate.... I know shes okay in her room...nothing to harm her or anything...just a bed and dresser...her toys are kept in the play rooms...so i tied scarfs together and tied off her door so even if she gets up she cant open the door...well.....she took too banging and yelling until somone comes to her door.....and this wont fly...esp on the nights i have over night kids because she wakes them all including an infant! Or she jerks on the door enough times to loosen the scarfs.

Now shes a very strong willed little girl..always has been...she refused to eat baby food....she had to feed herself and is very independent. But, I'm at my wits end. Now here's the kicker....why only those night is she like this? Well during naps and on the other evening the hubby is around....so he does it for me to save my some sanity...heck if she knows he's here and I lay her down shell stay there but its like she knows the nights he wotn be here and does this. I know she's just a little kid....but wow, I need some kind of mediction! lol

I remember when I first became a parent at 15! I was ina moms group and this gal was talking about how she gave her kids more then a single dose of tylonl so he would sleep...and i was htinking wow...how horriable is that...and shes 30 something...i know more then she does.....but I'm telling you...medication sounds awefuly good on those nights. lol

I hate to call it fighting but gosh...that's what it is....I've tried everything and am always consistant..and all my tricks have worked for every other kid I've known or had to put to bed. But, I swear I wonder about her sometimes....I would think she just knows she can do it with me...bt the hubby doesn't spank or anything...just says get into bed...and good night. I do the same thing he does...with her getting up enough times to drive me into a break down. Last night I was at wits end... i took a break and steped into my room and took a pillow and let it all out....feel great...but I look over and shes at my bedroom door...staring at me....then she says "mommy you funny" aAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I didn't have enough energy for another scream. I don't give into her ever...so why after a year am I still being pushed on this issue!

Don't get me wrong...I know some day all these qualities about her are going to develope her into a super strong person but right now I could use some of that strength! I know this happens to many parents...but I'm doing what most of then aren't. I never let her sleep with me or any of those bad habit that cause kids to not get into good bedtime manor...I've always done it the right way...or maybe not the right way but all the ways I knew how to - to ensure children sleep in their beds and get plenty of rest. Just drives me even more insane that she sleeps great and goes right to sleep when the hubby puts her down or when I do it and hes around.

Now there is one large detail that I think i know is the problem but I really have no way to fix it. When I was married before my x always laid her down...it was his and hers thing. She always went right to bed with no problems. It was their special thing...which was great. And I think she got into the pattern of wanting her dad to lay her down...and even now wants her step dad to lay her down at nights (I have full custody and her dad my x hasnt seen her in like a yr) due to financial problems (whoa thats a whole other entry though) But I understand she got into that rythym but for gosh sake I have been pluggin away at this for a yr now and no results! My soon to be hubby works evening 4 nights a week so he CANT be here to lay her down if thats what shes needing....so I'm stuck!

Thanks to all who have read and feel my pain as I feel much better even though I just shared...I feel a ray of hope...and tomorrow the hubby will be home......lol

A New addition to our family- Need your help in naming her!

So, today I was browing the paper...and saw an add....fr puppies...of course the hubby loves small dogs...and I don't really but he's been pratically begging for one...and I saw some fox/rat terrier puppies for only 20 dollars...so I called her...

.....then i went to look at them

.... then i got one and brought her home. You all know how this one goes...but I must amt I too have been looking for another companion to add to our crazy house!

We currently have a large dog and I mean LARGE (she weighs a little over 100 pounds cause she just sits with her age and has some medical issues)....my baby Kujo....shes a lab and I have had her for over 6 years and she's my baby...she is the dog that once say in a bathroom with me fr 3 days while I bled out with no one around....she didn't move...she laid there...next to me curled up on the floor...I couldn't move and later found out I had cancer causing the bleeding and very intense pain from my colon...but gosh I had only owned her for about 5 months at that point...I adopted her when she was like 1.5 and have never thought twice about it...shes kind to kids...very tollerant of all the kids here esp. for her age. She used to sleep in my room but now has adapted to sleeping with my youngest and eldest sons...which I think is great...i love them having that memory of the family pet.

She has been with other dogs but due to some reason or another they have left or something has happened to them...and she remains...but with her aging I really want a dog to be around her...alot...to catch on to her great behavior. So, I brought HER home...i say her because they hubby has not choosen a name for her yet...therefore I thought I'd ask for you all's help....what do you think she looks like.....we like unique names...she has a very spunky yet suprisingly calm temper for her breed and is very sweet...

Already though as I have stated before she is HIS dog and yet I'm the one watching her and such when he's gone...but sh's doing great going outside to potty with only one small accident that we caught before she really had a chance to go....

So, pluck away...anything and everything let me ear it in your comments...

Our family now is the following
Matt 25
Lacey 24
KuJo 8-9ish (black lab)
Taylor almost 9
Desiree 3.5 almost
Landyn Just turned 2
2 gerbils brother and sister that are about 8 months old
and HER - about 8 weeks old

SO NAME HER!! If your name is choosen by Matt then I'll enter you three more times into the drawing I have going on!

So, look at her and name her...many or only one it's up to you...but he's looking for a great name for HER! I feel as though I should mention Matt is very prown to smart butt names or slightlty sarcastic like name...he doesn't want something just cute...lol...it has to be someting witty or odd...lol....so hope you have had mor eluck then i have.

Home Aroma Tips

So, thought I would share a few things I do. Ever since having kids I hate how sometimes someone walks in and htey can just get hit with the smell of a poopy diaper just changed...even when disposed of outside...the smell lingers, or of the dog or just nothingness...so I have found these tips and one homemade one along the way to ensure your house has a pleseant aroma for you and your guests.

So the first one is my fav. but it's one I have done forever. I got to the store and buy the liquid poperi and the matching actual poperpuri..then I put half a bottle in a pan with some of the dry and for me i love apples and cinnamon...so then I also throw in some cinnamon sticks or ground and some sliced apples.....and then just let it get to simmering and then turn to low for about 30 minutes and then off...it fills the house with the best smell...I just lov ethis...then each monring until its gone i turn it on for an hour...and my house has a great smell all day....This also works if you use it in your slow cookers...lol But I always try to add some fresh things to the small....like oranges or apples...

Next these are some i have read or just do

-make fresh coffee
- candles
- bake cookies- not a ton...just a batch
- bake a frozen pie...smells great...no work and there's ur dessert
- fabreeze the walls...I do this all the time..instead of spraying in the air...I spray at a distance on the walls and curtians so the smell doesnt just settle on the floor...lol
- Buy those gel scents...things you like...then put them in the bottom of the trash can...under the bag.....or other hidden places where smells get overwhelming.
- create a vase of orange peels and such the oils of lemons and limes and oranges give a great scent and are pretty if put with marbles and such for a day or two

Well that's all for now...but just thought I would share some of these

How come?????

So, my daughter is now about 3.5 and with that wonderful age come the "how comes" Moms you know this one...they want to know how come for everything...so over the past week I have compiled some of my own "how comes" for us sahm's.....enjoy

- How come people who are normally not very nice...manage to be nice and pleasent when they want something.
- How come gossip doesn't stop even well after high school (and how come you take part...think about that...lol)
- How come when you have no money all you can do is think about and find things you'd love to have or really need....then when you have extra money to spend on sweet nothings or wants...you can't find anything!
- How come general manners have become something of the "good ol days"
- How come blogging makes you feel so good....you could easily write the same thing on a piece of paper...whats others reading it and commenting doing other than valadating you...lol
- How come child support goes down the older the child gets...and yet in my expereince the older the child gets the more expensive things are such as food and clothing.
- How come men are in shock and awe when a woman enjoys sports.
- How come coffee makes us feel sooooooo good- even if its decaf
- How come I argue with my kids...when I know its not right or worth the time...
- How come baby poop stinks soo darn much
- How come nothing can happen all day but the moment you sit...the phone rings or a child cries or kids are fighting
- How come when you do finally get those floors mopped and steamed...something has to happen to them within a good 30 minutes of them being complete
- How come a stern voice works for one child and the other appears to be deaf to your words.
- How come you can think of 100 things you love about being in love with him and he gets stumped when asked for one non-sexual/physcial
- How come when you finally find that great thing to do for you...you no longer have those spare minutes to do it
- How come you sometimes love beyond words what you do for your family and other days want out in the worst way
- How come everyone can't have a household helper
- How come some ladies dont want children or could careless about taking care of their children or their actions and you try and try - just to have them and can't
- How come men don't understand the word and meaning of "making love"
- How come people get so defensive
- How come raising our children in this society has to be soo much more tramatice with whats all around them then it used to be.
- How come on the days you do finally get out of the house or have outside plans...the weather sucks
- How come those who don't believe in the Lord as you do feel YOU should explain yourself to them
- How come even if no one wears shoes in your house...things still are all over the floor
- How come there has to be a darn "sock monster"
- How come no one bothers to ask the teen mother anything...but just assumes what they think is correct and just.
- How come the Lord wants us to be there and yet Sunday mornings always seem to be most stressing and hardest all around.
- How come forgiveness is soo hard
- How come our boobs have to deflate alittle after each child.....I mean...really why!!!!
- How come is our world doesn't see that everything has a gray area and its not always as simple and black and white.
- How come moms make being a mom a competetion among eachother
- How come you took a ton of pics of your first child and with each thereafter a few less then the one before
- How come the nights you have the chance to get to bed at a good time...you can't sleep
- How come it's hard to say no
- How come he can check a girl out on tv and when you mention someone being attractive...he takes offense...lol
- How come we as moms...esp. sahms have soo many jobs and no maunals or traingng
- How come going to school when an adult is sooooo initimidating
- How come many hate doing the laundry...but hate it even more if he does try....lol
- How come it kills us that out kids fight among each other soo much...and yet when we fought with out siblings...we were sure it had a meaning and really mattered...
- How come we get a more laxed in parenting with each child...we learn more and yet gt more laxed
- How come kids have to grow up sooo darn fast...esp in todays society
- How come we spend hours/days/weeks decorating for holidays that only last a single day
- How come Men think we think bigger is better...when in many instances that's just not the case

Okay ladies...thought these were some cute, funny and nice things to think about...I'd love to hear your How Comes...so drop me a comment with a few to share with the great ladies that read my blog!

A Note On Life- in general anyway

When I was 19 I was an assistant editor of a smaller newspaper...circulation was around 2500....ad I once wrote an editors column. As i sat here this evening I was reminded of a column I wrote about my son...then very young in comparison to life.I remember he spent well over an hour playing with this truck..it was one of those large dump trucks...he was trying to sit in it...and each time he attempted to I watched as he got dumped out of it. I swear he must have tried to master it well over 20 times...each time getting dumped out. I remember recalling how much I looked up to his drive. he was bound and determined to sit in it...and not that day...not even the next day...but a few days later after trying every chance he got finally mastered his balance and remained seated without falling. I was truly inspired.

What does this all have to do with anything you ask? Well think about it...how many times have we strive for something...an object, a person a feeling even...and fallen short the first so many times we have tried to acquire it.....did you give up...knowing you may fall on your rear...did you push on towards your goal or did you let it go defeated with a sore behind? Years ago I would have said I always pushed on until I got what i wanted. But now I have found over the past few years under my belt that life is precious. I lost my sister this past year...as well as my great grandfather...both hit very close to home. I think everyone can agree.....life would be easier if it were simplified...let me ask you...how do you simply do your own life...are you running all the time...barely noticing details or are you enjoying life fr what it is. Something i have discovered over the past few years is the details soo help you appreciate life. I have learned to simplify in so many areas of my life....I used to push and battle if I felt what i felt or thought was true...but have learned that my feelings may indeed be sincere, but the way they are approached aren't always that simple. I'm sure you have all been there...when u look at yourself...and say hmm maybe I took that a bit too far...or was that really worth the fight. You see so many details when your heart is open....my father can vouch that I used to be someone who held onto every last thing...holding it forever...thinking if i did some day i would make other see things my way or believe me...but truth is...when u do that you are just fighting...fighting the simplification, the great details in life.The greatest simplification in my life ( not saying its easy at all) was to learn to look at myself before pointing the fingers at other....this is much harder than it seems.....trust me!!!

I have learned to love myself....now this too isn't as easy...yes i love certain things about myself...but I mean truly love yourself.....to do this I have discovered...you must.....look to yourself first--meaning instead of pointing fingers and blame...take responsibility for your own actions...that's all u really can do...u will never be able to force others to do it...then this is important...learn to forgive yourself...whether religious or not...if you cant forgive yourself...how will u forgive yourself...and let me say now...if you say "but I don't have anything to forgive about myself" hahahahhahaha that's my laugh for you because we are all guilty of living a less than righteous life at some point. But let me also say when u learn to look at your self and then forgive yourself...you then have this great free-ness about you...others can spot it miles away...and most importantly I have found after you do the previous 2 you then are able to love and forgive others...and don't try to fool yourself...there's no way you can love and forgive others if you cant yourself first...

In short...all relationships depend on 2 individuals...whether in a intimate relationship, a family relationship or a friendship...all types depend on two people loving and forgiving themselves in order to do so to others.

I can truly vouch for this....I am friends with people from my life that look at me like I am crazy...but just think...are those judging..happy with their own lives....if so then why do they feel the need to judge you. My advice is that if you can not look at yourself...then try your best not to judge others...cause how fair is that.......we all have responsibility in this life and things that happen...no one is ever blameless...or we wouldn't be human......and as I say...life's not meant to be easy or it wouldn't be life...but it sure is fun!!! So be sure to have fun along the way!

I am lucky to have people in my life who accept me for who I am as do i them......I mean isn't that only fair...accept others for their flaws and you'd be surprised who accents you for yours as well....and don't kid yourself we all have flaws!

Pictured above is my youngest child-Landyn can't believe he will be 2 on halloween!