Friday, March 12, 2010

Knowing Your Limits

As mothers, wives, girlfriends, women we have so much that is expected of us on a daily basis. Cooking, cleaning, working, balancing home life and work and if they mesh together god help, maintaining healthy adult relationships, marriage, dating, activities and everything else that comes along with or without notice. We're expected to move the world a little each day...we may not notice or think that we are but we do.

Today while visiting with a girlfriend we got into a discussion of limitations and expectations. Knowing as a person we have limits and although most days we do the impossible and go above and beyond what we ever thought we could do, we all have breaking points and limitations. Limitations for patience, helping, nerves,discipline, everything else that comes with having a vagina. There's only so much one person can take. For each of us its different. Some of us know our breaking points but normally the only way we learn what they are is by actually reaching them. It's kinda sad and horrible when you think about it. Why must we actually reach the final straw to know where our point is at. Is it just me or does that suck!!

There was never a book they handed you when you become a mother or step mother that says "Hey when you reach this point...STOP...before you fall off the cliff." We don't actually know until we have one foot off the cliff teeter tottering on the edge, looking ahead to the solid ground where we want to be but then our heads look down as we never should and see the sharp rocks waiting for us...ready to fall with the smallest of winds. What saves us from falling...well some have nervous break sorta...haha I think what keeps most of us from falling is the love, guidance and appreciation we get from Friends and family. When your to this point do u hold it in...most likely you do because we're taught at a very young age that women esp. are the glue that hold together a family, children or any relationship. It's unfair but its true and you know it.

As my friend sat over here this afternoon I truly felt blessed. Although, the relationship her and I have is more often then not....not understood by others we love I was happy...happy we could sit and share the things we did. Knowing there was no judgement from either of us and what we felt we just openly shared about how we felt...reach limits is never fun and it sucks they sometimes get reach or even get tested however I've never been happier to have someone so close to me to be able to share it all with, the happy things, the scary things the things no one wants to or rarely even talks about!

Learning To Say NO!

For once I'm not speaking of anything concerning a child. Although, i do believe that each child should know and respect the word no. Tonight I'm writing concerning how often we spread ourselves too thin.

In the last week I haven't felt like I was on my feet at all. Felt like the entire week I was just floating from one task to the next barely remembering to eat much less take breathes. I took a moment to examine why I felt this way. I am a rather busy person by nature and with my job working 7 days a week, however here lately things have been even more hectic. It all boils down to one thing. I rarely tell people no. Whether its to take a child additional days or hours then I should of had them, or to come over and hang out when i just feel like being left alone, or to host a party, or do them a favor. What is it that makes us feel like we can't say no respectively?

I have told people no, don't get me wrong, however when I have said no was normally because I absolutely could not in any possible way figure out how to say yes to them. I don't kid myself this is a very very rare occurrence. More often then not I will tilt the earth on its axes to help someone or figure out how to help them in any given situation. Sometimes I feel as though what it takes for me to move things around takes more effort then the actual favor they needed. It should not be alot of work for me..I think helping is fun and love being there for others but at the same time I feel stretched thin.

I enjoy feeling wanted...who doesn't? but, even more so then feeling wanted i like more so feeling appreciated. I find that in what I do day in and day out I don't get a whole lot of appreciation. It's rare...who am I kidding its never that a 4 year old looks at me and says thank you for providing a safe, secure and fun environment for me to be in. Ha I'm lucky to get the parents to say that. So, when I can do odd little things for people it makes me feel good.

However, this last week to where it seems more and more everyone is asking for little favors. All those little favors add up to me having little to know me time. So, I'm making a pledge to myself to begin saying no. Not to everything, but I really want to work on if I feel like its taking away from the little me time i do or will have then i should step back and say no....respectively of course. I'm challenging you to do the same as well. I'm not sure how people will respond to begin with as they are all used to always hearing yes coming from my mouth but def. worth a try for sure! I'll keep you posted as to how it goes.