Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Long Time No Hear

This I know and have missed. But please let me explain......so my daughter hasn't seen her biological father in 16months....he's offered a number of excuses and finally I called and covered them all....money time....everything.....so suprising the heck out of me he accepted to finaly see her...no before I hear all the man haters out there....hold your breath....because I don't want to hear it. This is not a lazy deadbeat dad...it's a man I married and believe in...but when I moved away and took our daughter...he was heart broken and it took him along time to get out of that....more about that another time...

So, three weeks ago we agreed for me to pay for him and his girlfriend to come down. This is great for my daughter....she needed this...he needed this. She's now 3.5 and well it was needed. So, a very ong story short...last Friday he came down...hung out with her...and I swear it was as though he had never eft...she remembered him, loved him and wanted to be with him....

Saturday morning he came and picked her up and they headed 600 miles away. The plan was to have her stay for 2-3 weeks depending on how she did. By Saturday night...I was in shambles...I had never been away from her for more than like 6 hours...so it was very hard for me...when my soon to be hubby's son was gone...the house was quiet...to quiet...my 9 y od does his own thing and id hardly ever noisy...so during the nights when I had no night care chidren...my house was spooky quiet....

In short, I haven't been able to sleep, eat or think since she's been gone. I try to concentrate on all the thing I say I would do if I had a break, but can't.....Things have just been off without her filing the house with her laughter and fun!!! Hence why I haven't written...I knew three weeks ago I was going to take this hard and heck she's doing great with minimal home sickness and I'm at a loss....like I don't know what to do with myself.....I have been like this I think since I knew she was leaving and now that she's gone...it has gotten worse....

Sure I still run the preschool from my home...but its diff. when she's not here....it really is. I stil do my day to day things, but I'm in a bit of a trance..... I think we are going to get her in the middle of next week and cal this a good trip for now as shes getting homesick as well...but it's just been hard...