Sunday, October 26, 2008

In A Fit of Kindness-freebies for you frugal ladies

I am cleaning out a ton of my scrapbooking stuff....i have a 30,000 sheets of paper just to give you a hint as to how addicted I

Anyway to the point when we moved I got a much smaller area to scrap in. Much bigger house but...smaller scrap area. This week I have been promising myself to get some things cleaned out...through my trading group on yahoo and I decided this would be the donating part.

I have went through a ton of my handmade cards and if anyone is interested in rec. some of them please shoot me a private email to I used to sell these but really dont even have the energy to sell them at this point...but if you'd like an assortment of handmade cards to have.....esp. you frugal ladies>this is a great freebie...shoot me a line with an address and I'll send some your way...I have a very large assortment of themes from holidays to sympathy cards to offer.

So, ya shoot me a line and help me help get some great new handmade pro looking cards that I sell for around 8 bucks a piece and I get some space for other goodies!

sharing-home notebook-budgeting- organizing

Thought I would share this link. It has a ton of great things and forms for a frugal or not frugal home. I use alot of these sheets in m own home notebook...if you have any questions feel free to ask.


More about me and what I have been through-just a chapter

So, hmm after todays earlier post I am a bit more at ease...and felt inspired to share a bit. A bit about me....but really it will be more than a bit...because....well because I like to write and they always turn into mini-books.

So, where to start....lets start at the begining of mommy-hood...thats far less complicated....kinda. So, I am living proof of two can loose your virginity and use protection and still get pregnant. I know because this great justice happened to me when I was barely 15!

It was obviously by accident (im not one of those girls who looked to get pregnant or the fun o being a mom) to someone I barely knew anything about who was...hmmm far to old to be with someone my age....then again he thought I was 18...that's right I lied...go fig. a teenager lying to a hot boy so he liked her...but come on...Im not blaming him in any way but I really didn't look 18...he knew. I mean I am 24 and still look like I am 15! So, needless to say he was one of those guys when i confided in him after 2 months of never talking (duh cuz he was done with me..but i had those lost hopes of more) so I told him that I was pregnant he said..."hmm i'll take you for an abortion...but you have to pay." ha...every girls dreams...i know...please dont shead a tear of those sweet sweet words. lol Oh and forgot to mention I got knocked up exactly one year to the day of my moms death...hmm kinda an odd fact..but there you have it. I didn't even realize until Taylor was 2 and I was looking through some old journals.

So, I did not have an abortion and although I was adopted I guess I just didn't want to think about anything other than knowing I may be young but due to life issues I had helped raise my younger brother and sister and well.....I just knew I couldnt do anything but keep him. Although I knew it would be terriably father whom I really hated (hate isn't too strong of a word because really at that point there was alot of very hard feelings) at that point in life...for far more reasons then could be explained here. But He was born...dont worry I am sparing many details here...but trust me it sucked. I will say thought hat i timed my telling of my father and step mother until the week of their wedding...not fari or nice but like I said I was very angry with them both...more on that another time.

I was the first girl to get pregnant at my small town school in 9+ years and small as in i went to the same H.S. my dad went math teacher was he friend in computer teacher was his can only imagine. Everyone knew my last name and my family.

Needless to say I didn't have sex again for a very veyr very long time being scared to death. I mean if God allowed ME the gift of getting pregant they first tiem with protection...hmmmm ya I was scared!

So, Taylor was born...sweet and innocent and the real reason I would not be an utter screw up. Oh ya and he was born at 28 weeks weighing a 1 pound 2 oz within an hour after birth. He spents months in the hospital...each day them saying maybe hed make it maybe sucked. I went to school worked afterwards and was at the hospital after hours. To most 15 yr old I had no life...but it was mine...adn really I had nothing better to do. After geting pregnant I became permanently grounded from anythng and everything....a lack of trust can do that.

I struggled through school....when taylor was allowed to leave the ospital he weighed just over 5 pounds...and was on all kinds of machine and meds. His daycare was I went to school 3 days a the make up work the other days. It best it could.

I struggled with not only being a single mom....a teenage mom, a student....working...taking care of a kid with special needs of being a premie..being a teenager....and having the village (everyone in my house) helping with their even at 16 I knew what all of you 20 and 30 and 40 smething can drive you crazy...just being there and hearing them from time to time..imagine it everyday from 5 diff. at that point the my g-parents and uncle lived with us...oh ya and my dad was re-married then. Stressed isn't a strong enough word! And ten to add insult to injury it seemed after I got pregnant at school I started an epidemic because it seemed each month someone was popping up pregnant!

So, your all wondering where the guy is right? Well when talor was born early he was my dispair he pretended he didn't know who i was....and when told about taylors condidtion swore im to death...I fig. with that type of attitude...I'd fig. it out on my own...and I did. He was contacted a year later with no better luck and to be completely honest I was scared. What happened if he found out how old I was or his parents found out...he was 21 but...none the less adn they wanted my son...and here i was just this teenager going to school...i was scared he could take him from me...and I couldnt bear with that so I quit trying to make someone feel and think a way I clearly couldnt.

So, did this for 3 year...then moved to Colorado. Went to college while working. Got a great job as an assistant editor at a small town newpaper...while there got 4 degrees...not really because I needed that many but because I wanted to insure...Taylor never went without just because I was a single teenage mom.

So, there's a blip into my world and some of wat I have been through...more to come another evening. But, I will say for any of you whom do have teenagers it's just as hard for them as it is for you to go through..most of the times harder!

But in the end I have never looked back on my decisions and you know it was meant to be. Don't get me wrong there were lots of days I was very lost and without a key and angry and soo many emotions...but...come to find out as I aged and have been a mom 2 other times...I have come to the conclusion that EVERY MOM feels alot of those same feelings. But, it was difficult. Since I was 17 I have been working with pre-teen to already pregnant teens on their actions from getting pregnant and not only being a mom but the results of their bodies not being ready can cause harm to the child as well...such as premature birth! And, I love it and they relate to me well...partially because I am younger and because I think maybe they know when seeing it in and all from my body to how small and fragile my poor son was. I know i strike alot of young folks and those that i encounted that are already pregnant I just try to help them and ensure they don't take their actions or their condition or the soon to be life lightly.

I knew it...sounds odd but...the lord was working and helped me through it all long before I knew he was holding my hand.....come to find out I am only 24...and have already battled cancer a few times which has left me with no longer having a chance in hell at having anoter child unless its through adoption...of which I can not afford. But, going through just this has enlightened me to so much. I don't judge others nearly as quickly.

Now, also with this greatness has come the hardship of me still at 24 gettig those looks...only I get them in a bit diff. light now. This is esp. for you 30-40 something parents who get those looks or comments about being too don't worry your not!

Now.....present time...... I get looks of two kinds..... 1. I get the look from those who think my son is my brother...then they are corrected and they say oh you cant be over 25....and I say NOPE I'm not! Or something along those lines...doesn't take long for other moms to ask how old I am and then to know I have a soon to be 9 yr old son... I even had one mom in her 30's with a son the same age as mine look at me and say " when your 30 he will be 15!" I just smile and say yes..politely...when inside I want to scream "BY GOSH I DID GOOD WITH HIM HE'S A GREAT KID AND GOOD FOR YOU FOR BEING ABLE TO DO THE MATH...YEA FOR YOU" I mean do people honestly think I dont alreadyknow But, i still have to try 10 times harder to fit in or find my place with my sons friends moms. It's hard for them to take me seriously and to be honest I dont associate with many my age because....I was never into clubs, bars or going out...I was a And, i really try but I always get alot of those looks once they know I just don't look young...I AM YOUNG.

Now the 2nd look is the one I like but don't really get that often! its the look of "wow good for you" It's those who see what I have surcome and how well my life is...I'm not a go nowhere fact I have parents intrust their child's education to me funny how things work out.

Ok, so kids are bathed and asleep ad its time for me to go do the soaking kitchen dishes...the girl's mom is going to be here about midnight...and the soon to be hubby will be here at 11...he gets off work I want to have them done to spend some much need couch time with him.

onc again thanks for reading...

Another Moment in Time to Cherish Forever.HA

"YOUR NOT MY SISTER NO MORE!" I hear screaming from desi's lips s she places a hand on her hips and attempts to mimick stomping up the stairs...she's not even 3.5 yet and yet she has mastered repeating the things she hears from the preschool kids mouths. I have 2 sets of sisters in my home and they very often spit that sentence at one another when upset. She doesn't even realize that makes no sense to say to me...but oh nearves are boiling..I really don't like talking back...but she's at the point now to where she needs to un-boil before tlaking with her or she breaks down in a teary fit to where nothing gets across to her.....

I dont even know what set her off but I truly feel as though i may loose my nuts any minute!!! I don't like disrespect...and have read and watched everything about kids that I can get my hands on...and yet many days out of the week I still feel as though I am at odds with this little girl. She's ohhhhh soo independent and drama..that girl has some drama...about this and that and anythign and everything!!! I remember finding out I was having a girl and being delighted but at the smae time knowing it would be nothing like my first born boy.

Then as a baby she was independent but oh soo sweet. And it's like 2 weeks after she turned 2 and dark light came on...dont get me wrong I love her more than anything...but oh my lord. I remember sitting in stores or out to eat watching a little girl go nuts and htinking oh thank the lord my kids aren't like that...well two weeks after she turned 2...I remember thinking...."WHAT HAPPENED!" Where did that little girl go...and why!!! She throws normal fit....which I try to manage as well as I can but am always ....i repeat always looking for new ways to handle her.....does she need more attention--one on one....more discipline...I just can't get the combo right on her safe.

I don't get what I am doing wrong.....and sometimes I think it's really not me at all......because I have done the same things with all 3 of my kids and my younger son...who is 2 on halloween is just as well behaved as my eldest son was...but i always wonder...will that switch go off shortly after turning 2! ahh I dont even want to think about that.

i know shes a great kids most of the time and yet daily I have those moments to where I find myself thinking "how can i fix this?" Is it the influence of one or more of the older children....can i fix it or just manage it by discliple and letting her know her actions are not acceptable...still working on this as I said...

I hope it gets better with age cause I always thought I'd be very close to her and we have our own bond but......I swear some days she doesnt really like me! I know she doesnt have to like me as I am the mom...but some days wow...I wonder.

I have theories about why she acts the way she does...but none of which can I undo...such as a divorce to her father after 6 years...but oh my...

Just a little rant on the things I work on everyday in addition to everything else in lie!

One of those days

Boy of boy where to start. Today is Sunday...the day of peace right? HA..... Woke up as I always do bright and early to 4 kids arriving. Today they seemed to all be in crossed moods. The baby is somewhat sick and needs her breathing treatments...hmm and some socks and a bottle...all of which mom has neglected once again to bring for her.....I just don't get it. How hard is it to ensure your child is wearing warm clothing, has the breathing machine she clearly needs as you can hear her weezing across the room....and her bottle.

The 4, 5 and 6 yr old girls are all cross because mom said she'd be hear early to get them and then left adn called and said they would be here till after 11:30 in the evening. Not to mention two of them were promise a full day of fun with Grandma but mom canceled due to being upset with g-ma.

My own children also had a rough morning. Desiree for some reason decided to strip her pull-up mid-stream last night and awoke at 2 am with wet underware...then woke up every hour afterwards for some odd reason...thinking it was time to get up....Finally we settled with her getting up at 5:30am. My eldest is almost 9 and just felt like pushing buttons today...not just mine but everyone in the house!

I had - had hope of getting all of the house cleaned, leaves raked and some of my floors steamed today....but settled with a god general cleaning and washing all of the blankets I could find in the house.

Cleaned desirees room...she is one of those girls who will go through a few outfits a day! i really don't get it..but she had clothes scattered not know what was clean or not I decided to wash all of her clothes...while sorting them it became painfully clear that we needed to go clothes shopping for her....not sure where I will squeeze that's a hard choice...go to wal-mart at 1 am when I have no kids or take at min. 7 kids with We will see what I can work out.

I'd be lying if I said my nerves weren't a bit stretched! Then to add insult to injury...the mom of these poor 4 girls tells me...that shes trying for yet another schedule change.....we just changed it around on the girls 3 weeks ago...poor things......just saddens me that she says she puts thought into these kids but her decision show otherwise.

So, everyone is of the girls threw up because she ate far to she wants more to getting them all in 2 diff. rooms watching movies of their choice for a small break...would be just me and the baby...but that did't work...turned into a toy flying between the two rooms...I just couldnt handle that...i dont take well to disrespecting property.

My daughter has no pants on...running in her flower panties.....the paper is in her own livingroom as we always do so the children dont run over her! She has toys strung everywhere and a few movies pulled from the

Matt gets to come home early tonight...they screwed his schedule for halloween--which is Landyns they are letting him come home between 10-11 last night and tonight...which will be nice! But he hasn't called me yet....which is normally the call that lets me talk to another adult for the first time on

Hmm the electricty is flickering because we are having super windy weather...we have a wind advisory for another few hours...I pray it doesnt go I think that my spark utter adrinaline in the kids. lol

Tomorrow will be a very busy day...normally I have 12-13 kids on mon and fridays but on mon and tue the schools are closed for parent-teacher I will have all of the kids---all day-even the school age kiddos....I have a great day planed or them all tough...ur reg. preschool and school activites andthen baking some cookies and a puppet show wth out new that out to be fun.

Normally my days aren't this stressed but it seemed everyone decided to have with those days are always trying...luckily they only come every few months!

the kids are all sitting peacfully...well as peacfully can be expected with all of them doing crafts...hmmm but i hear paper noe screaming eldest is tattle telling that desi is taking off caops t the glue and eating them....did I tell you I changed her today and got glitter and crayon specked poop...hahahahah all i can do is laugh....8pm wont come quick enough...but its time to put away the glue....and get them in the showers.