This I know and have missed. But please let me explain......so my daughter hasn't seen her biological father in 16months....he's offered a number of excuses and finally I called and covered them all....money time....everything.....so suprising the heck out of me he accepted to finaly see her...no before I hear all the man haters out there....hold your breath....because I don't want to hear it. This is not a lazy deadbeat dad...it's a man I married and believe in...but when I moved away and took our daughter...he was heart broken and it took him along time to get out of that....more about that another time...
So, three weeks ago we agreed for me to pay for him and his girlfriend to come down. This is great for my daughter....she needed this...he needed this. She's now 3.5 and well it was needed. So, a very ong story short...last Friday he came down...hung out with her...and I swear it was as though he had never eft...she remembered him, loved him and wanted to be with him....
Saturday morning he came and picked her up and they headed 600 miles away. The plan was to have her stay for 2-3 weeks depending on how she did. By Saturday night...I was in shambles...I had never been away from her for more than like 6 hours...so it was very hard for me...when my soon to be hubby's son was gone...the house was quiet...to quiet...my 9 y od does his own thing and id hardly ever noisy...so during the nights when I had no night care chidren...my house was spooky quiet....
In short, I haven't been able to sleep, eat or think since she's been gone. I try to concentrate on all the thing I say I would do if I had a break, but can't.....Things have just been off without her filing the house with her laughter and fun!!! Hence why I haven't written...I knew three weeks ago I was going to take this hard and heck she's doing great with minimal home sickness and I'm at a loss....like I don't know what to do with myself.....I have been like this I think since I knew she was leaving and now that she's gone...it has gotten worse....
Sure I still run the preschool from my home...but its diff. when she's not here....it really is. I stil do my day to day things, but I'm in a bit of a trance..... I think we are going to get her in the middle of next week and cal this a good trip for now as shes getting homesick as well...but it's just been hard...
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Loving Yourself First
I know I touch on this often but I think it's important for moms and dads of all ages. I truly believe you must love yourself before you can love another. Now with being parents...this can be harder than ever. So, I challenge you...to learn more about yourself...learn to love yourself.
I challenge you to make time for yourself. I am listing a few ideas and willing to have other moms share how they make time for themselves.
- soak in the tub- wait till he kids go to bed...if your tired its okay..just soak- and do NOT think about what you should be doing or need to do...just dont think!
- Read- a blog, a book a magazine...I know it can be hard but somtimes I only get a paragraph read...but I feel better...look through some of my old post for some great reads!
- Craft- I use crafting as a way to express myself..sometimes soft and sweet sometimes just letting it all out on some good paper...lol I feel liek sometimes I loose me...the real me in day to day things and crafting allows me to lt me and how i feel out.
-Blog, write, journal - it's your choice but getting things out is always good for the soul...you've read my things...hahah its not always pretty but its always honest!
- Have sex- You may not feel like it...I knwo how tired you can get but sometimes..in my case...always it does the body and mind good!!! Sometimes you just have to do it...
- Sit..........thats right.....and thats it.......just sit...dont watch tv, dont do anything just sit...after the kids go to bed, during the nap or even in the car before you leave for the store...just sit....and breathe!!!
- Make a list of all the things you do----do. I posted about this earlier...dont make a list of to do things...just make a list of things you have done...cause that's all that counts!!! What you have done...and give yourself a treat.
- Go get your hair washed and cut -- there's something all too wonderful about getting your hair washed and cut....not having to do anything but sit and enjoy...and while your there...get your nails done or tan...something just for you!!!
- Walk, job, run bike, yoga, tae bo, run the stairs - so something to get your heart pumping...for even 15 minutes...a little exercise goes a long way and while u may feel like you dont have the energy for it...you'll feel like you have more energy...I promise you'll feel like you have more energy and feel better.
- Lay off the caffinated products for a week. I swear it's amazing when you stop drinking...the first few days bites but after that its wonderful..you feel different...better...
- Eat something wonderful...I'm not saying four times a day but allow yourself to indulge in something tasty...all by yourself....a special treat just for you!
- Don't clean. I knw we all feel like we dont get enough done each day...but one night get the things done tat need to be done...then the next morning take things slow and just enjoy your childre, family, hobby...and do what u want to.
- Listen to music- something you enjoy!
ok there's some thing to et you started and I'm looking forward to seeing what others do to relax.
I challenge you to make time for yourself. I am listing a few ideas and willing to have other moms share how they make time for themselves.
- soak in the tub- wait till he kids go to bed...if your tired its okay..just soak- and do NOT think about what you should be doing or need to do...just dont think!
- Read- a blog, a book a magazine...I know it can be hard but somtimes I only get a paragraph read...but I feel better...look through some of my old post for some great reads!
- Craft- I use crafting as a way to express myself..sometimes soft and sweet sometimes just letting it all out on some good paper...lol I feel liek sometimes I loose me...the real me in day to day things and crafting allows me to lt me and how i feel out.
-Blog, write, journal - it's your choice but getting things out is always good for the soul...you've read my things...hahah its not always pretty but its always honest!
- Have sex- You may not feel like it...I knwo how tired you can get but sometimes..in my case...always it does the body and mind good!!! Sometimes you just have to do it...
- Sit..........thats right.....and thats it.......just sit...dont watch tv, dont do anything just sit...after the kids go to bed, during the nap or even in the car before you leave for the store...just sit....and breathe!!!
- Make a list of all the things you do----do. I posted about this earlier...dont make a list of to do things...just make a list of things you have done...cause that's all that counts!!! What you have done...and give yourself a treat.
- Go get your hair washed and cut -- there's something all too wonderful about getting your hair washed and cut....not having to do anything but sit and enjoy...and while your there...get your nails done or tan...something just for you!!!
- Walk, job, run bike, yoga, tae bo, run the stairs - so something to get your heart pumping...for even 15 minutes...a little exercise goes a long way and while u may feel like you dont have the energy for it...you'll feel like you have more energy...I promise you'll feel like you have more energy and feel better.
- Lay off the caffinated products for a week. I swear it's amazing when you stop drinking...the first few days bites but after that its wonderful..you feel different...better...
- Eat something wonderful...I'm not saying four times a day but allow yourself to indulge in something tasty...all by yourself....a special treat just for you!
- Don't clean. I knw we all feel like we dont get enough done each day...but one night get the things done tat need to be done...then the next morning take things slow and just enjoy your childre, family, hobby...and do what u want to.
- Listen to music- something you enjoy!
ok there's some thing to et you started and I'm looking forward to seeing what others do to relax.
PLEASE Tell me it's not just me
So, I have come to a conclusion. I clean my house often because of how many children are in and oout everyday. But, there's something that everyday...drives me bonkers...no matter how much I nag, do it myself or ignore it...it just keeps happening. I can never tell if it's the children or the man child...(honey you know i love u but...I know u do it too) LOL
I go through about 4 bags of trash a day....and so you would think I would be used to this and let it go ...but its like the sock monster....you never see it and it still drives you crazy!
So here it is...my dity garbage....literally!!!
Please everyone tell me you deal with this in some fashion. OK so let me explain what your seeing here...your seeing someone that has loaded a trash bag full...then someone else started a new bag and placed it on top of the other full bag! AHHHHHHHH can you hear me screaming...hahahaha Even when one bag is not put ontop of the other it seems the bag always is full...then someone is nice enough to pull the strings...and yet more trash gets plopped down ontop of the tied bag....hmm can't it be pulled and taken outside....How come when the bag is taken out...no one can put a new bag in...and then everyone throws trash into the bagless trash can.
Please tell me this happens around america and not just in my house....I beg of you...I think I will feel more sane if I know other also deal with this trash disaster!!! Am I the only one who doesn't understand this. When i go tot he trash can...if it's full I pull the strings and pull the bag..sometimes i take it outside and sometimes I wait, then I put a new bag in...I never throw trash ontop of the overflowing bag or a tied bag..hmmmm come on ladies...let me here you dirty trash stories...make me feel sane!!! As always thanks bunches!!!!
Keeping LIsts- Boost Your Self-confidence
Afer getting a great comment in the accomplishments post I thought I would add a short entry here.
I think this is great atdive for any SAHM or WAHM. Many times in my blogs you will see little lists. I know it may seem like more work, but I think it's very beneficial to you as a person to make little lists. I try to never ...ha almost never make lists of things to be done...because I alays feel as thought I fall short.
But, I do make it a point to keep track of things I have done...why....because it takes 2 seconds to jot it down and yet the feelings of seeing something done and on paper and then having other items added to it gives me as a SAHM and WAHM a great sense of accomplishment. While I didn't completet a certain number of tasks in a day...I still feel awesome knowing I have done all of those things. LOL Because some days I know I vaccume these floors over 3 times...having other things that aren't in the normal cleaning routine...makes me feel better. always have something to look at and either valadate how hard I doo work or valadate a long much needed break....lol...use it for what you like...
Anway, try it out. Spend 2 seconds a day and just jot down ona piece of paper..some off the wall things you got done....normally I don't always iron...so if I have the time and energy to get it done....I'm super happy to add it to my list of "got dones" ad since you don't have a list of things you have to get done...they are all accomplishments...your not staring at list of half checked off items ...wondering when int he heck they will get done...you just looking at the positive....what you have gotten done!!!!
I think this is great atdive for any SAHM or WAHM. Many times in my blogs you will see little lists. I know it may seem like more work, but I think it's very beneficial to you as a person to make little lists. I try to never ...ha almost never make lists of things to be done...because I alays feel as thought I fall short.
But, I do make it a point to keep track of things I have done...why....because it takes 2 seconds to jot it down and yet the feelings of seeing something done and on paper and then having other items added to it gives me as a SAHM and WAHM a great sense of accomplishment. While I didn't completet a certain number of tasks in a day...I still feel awesome knowing I have done all of those things. LOL Because some days I know I vaccume these floors over 3 times...having other things that aren't in the normal cleaning routine...makes me feel better. always have something to look at and either valadate how hard I doo work or valadate a long much needed break....lol...use it for what you like...
Anway, try it out. Spend 2 seconds a day and just jot down ona piece of paper..some off the wall things you got done....normally I don't always iron...so if I have the time and energy to get it done....I'm super happy to add it to my list of "got dones" ad since you don't have a list of things you have to get done...they are all accomplishments...your not staring at list of half checked off items ...wondering when int he heck they will get done...you just looking at the positive....what you have gotten done!!!!
Round 1000 In this Un-winable Boxing Match
OK, by now I think Iw ould have made myself quite clear. Not to sound off putting in any way...but how hard is it to be a grown up!!!! Remember when you were a kid...and how if you got into a tiff it was handled...pulling hair, ugly words or if you had broher or are a boy maybe with a good punch or wrestling match.
I kinda miss those days. Last night while taking my 10th trip to Wal-mart in the day...I was browsing some new crafting supplies for the kids Valentine's Day party.I have my three children and one of my night care children. They were behaving wonderfully....I was soo proud....granit they were somewhat bribed tobehave...I twas agreed on before we entered the store that there would be no homemade cookies made later if their behaviors were crazy... Anyway back to the point.....I'm shopping...A gal next to me asked if I had used something before and she seemed quite nice.....I gave her my experience with the product. Then comes the first blow...
"So, are these your children- they are soo well behaved"
"Thank you...but I can only take credit for 3 of them." Now in my head thats enough said....HA...you all know me all to well to know that was it.
"So, you babaysit?"
"I run a preschool by day and then take a few night care kids at night but the 2 and 3 yr olds and the nine yr old are mine." as I point to each child.
She gives me a quizical look...not really scanning my body but kinda scanning me as a while. Once of the kids was elbowing the other...so I went over nealt down and told them to cut it out.
I walk about 4 feet away from the cart....my back turned to the cart....The lady moves down the isle. I slightly turn to look at something...and out of the corner of my eye...I notice the gal bent down near my cart...now I'm an up front and honest person. I turn thinking maybe my cart is in her way.....hmm she's talking to my kids...nice enough and harmless.....so I go over and move the cart ahead so that she may have view of the lower shelf she was bent down in front of.
And I tell you I gotta love my 9 yr old. The lady continues to look and he blunrts out quite loudly. "Mom, why was that lady asking me if I was your son?" My jaw dropped and I knew she could hear him. I say "I dont know Taylor...what did she say." He looks at her ...with a kinda afraid of getting in trouble look...then says "she asked if you were my mom...and said if you weren't it was okay she would help me."
I'm sorry but I don't care if I'm a God fearing woman or not. I wanted--I wished--I desperatly wanted to be 8 again. I wanted to elbow her, and yell at her and tattle tale on her and go into an all out sister like fight, I imagine pulling her hair out..calling her names that I knew were in my head but normally aren't spoken. Luckily for her I have alot of patience. But, also in a situation like this...there's not alot you can do. I get this all the time as my long time readers know. But... for goodness sake...I wanted to take her by her hair and twirl her around 360 like you see inthe movies...lol. I had soo much anger I could feel my face filling with redness and begining to tingle. Only in my head I saw her fate to be anything but fun or happy. Gosh how much I miss being a kid.
I then looked over to her and said please do not speak to MY children again. I think what you just did was very inappropiate and uncalled for. She looked at me and says something to the effect of how young I look. I just took the kid and pushed the cart away. Nothing iriatates me more then peoples own stupidity.
Now ont he other hand I maybe ....ha...I said maybe right....can see where she was coming from. At least she had the balls to say something...as many children are kidnapped or locked in cars or horrriable things and no one says anything...but I mean come on it was pretty obvious...to me and hundreds of other I guess...LOL I feel like I should have to wear a shirt around that says. "I HAD A KID AT 15" then on the back a short essay about how I have a great job, 4 degrees a loving husband and well behaved great children that are well cared for in everyway possiable. Go figure I'd post this right after expectations.....ahhhhhhh people....get a clue...really. know I'm not the only person who looks 16 at 24...lol and I sure in the hell know I'm not the first or last to have a child ata a early age...
Ok ladies lets here it ....I want to hear when you most wanted to be a kid again...was it for the fun or for the stuff you could get away with, witht a time out or grounding or spanking.
I kinda miss those days. Last night while taking my 10th trip to Wal-mart in the day...I was browsing some new crafting supplies for the kids Valentine's Day party.I have my three children and one of my night care children. They were behaving wonderfully....I was soo proud....granit they were somewhat bribed tobehave...I twas agreed on before we entered the store that there would be no homemade cookies made later if their behaviors were crazy... Anyway back to the point.....I'm shopping...A gal next to me asked if I had used something before and she seemed quite nice.....I gave her my experience with the product. Then comes the first blow...
"So, are these your children- they are soo well behaved"
"Thank you...but I can only take credit for 3 of them." Now in my head thats enough said....HA...you all know me all to well to know that was it.
"So, you babaysit?"
"I run a preschool by day and then take a few night care kids at night but the 2 and 3 yr olds and the nine yr old are mine." as I point to each child.
She gives me a quizical look...not really scanning my body but kinda scanning me as a while. Once of the kids was elbowing the other...so I went over nealt down and told them to cut it out.
I walk about 4 feet away from the cart....my back turned to the cart....The lady moves down the isle. I slightly turn to look at something...and out of the corner of my eye...I notice the gal bent down near my cart...now I'm an up front and honest person. I turn thinking maybe my cart is in her way.....hmm she's talking to my kids...nice enough and harmless.....so I go over and move the cart ahead so that she may have view of the lower shelf she was bent down in front of.
And I tell you I gotta love my 9 yr old. The lady continues to look and he blunrts out quite loudly. "Mom, why was that lady asking me if I was your son?" My jaw dropped and I knew she could hear him. I say "I dont know Taylor...what did she say." He looks at her ...with a kinda afraid of getting in trouble look...then says "she asked if you were my mom...and said if you weren't it was okay she would help me."
I'm sorry but I don't care if I'm a God fearing woman or not. I wanted--I wished--I desperatly wanted to be 8 again. I wanted to elbow her, and yell at her and tattle tale on her and go into an all out sister like fight, I imagine pulling her hair out..calling her names that I knew were in my head but normally aren't spoken. Luckily for her I have alot of patience. But, also in a situation like this...there's not alot you can do. I get this all the time as my long time readers know. But... for goodness sake...I wanted to take her by her hair and twirl her around 360 like you see inthe movies...lol. I had soo much anger I could feel my face filling with redness and begining to tingle. Only in my head I saw her fate to be anything but fun or happy. Gosh how much I miss being a kid.
I then looked over to her and said please do not speak to MY children again. I think what you just did was very inappropiate and uncalled for. She looked at me and says something to the effect of how young I look. I just took the kid and pushed the cart away. Nothing iriatates me more then peoples own stupidity.
Now ont he other hand I maybe ....ha...I said maybe right....can see where she was coming from. At least she had the balls to say something...as many children are kidnapped or locked in cars or horrriable things and no one says anything...but I mean come on it was pretty obvious...to me and hundreds of other I guess...LOL I feel like I should have to wear a shirt around that says. "I HAD A KID AT 15" then on the back a short essay about how I have a great job, 4 degrees a loving husband and well behaved great children that are well cared for in everyway possiable. Go figure I'd post this right after expectations.....ahhhhhhh people....get a clue...really. know I'm not the only person who looks 16 at 24...lol and I sure in the hell know I'm not the first or last to have a child ata a early age...
Ok ladies lets here it ....I want to hear when you most wanted to be a kid again...was it for the fun or for the stuff you could get away with, witht a time out or grounding or spanking.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
