OK, by now I think Iw ould have made myself quite clear. Not to sound off putting in any way...but how hard is it to be a grown up!!!! Remember when you were a kid...and how if you got into a tiff it was handled...pulling hair, ugly words or if you had broher or are a boy maybe with a good punch or wrestling match.
I kinda miss those days. Last night while taking my 10th trip to Wal-mart in the day...I was browsing some new crafting supplies for the kids Valentine's Day party.I have my three children and one of my night care children. They were behaving wonderfully....I was soo proud....granit they were somewhat bribed tobehave...I twas agreed on before we entered the store that there would be no homemade cookies made later if their behaviors were crazy... Anyway back to the point.....I'm shopping...A gal next to me asked if I had used something before and she seemed quite nice.....I gave her my experience with the product. Then comes the first blow...
"So, are these your children- they are soo well behaved"
"Thank you...but I can only take credit for 3 of them." Now in my head thats enough said....HA...you all know me all to well to know that was it.
"So, you babaysit?"
"I run a preschool by day and then take a few night care kids at night but the 2 and 3 yr olds and the nine yr old are mine." as I point to each child.
She gives me a quizical look...not really scanning my body but kinda scanning me as a while. Once of the kids was elbowing the other...so I went over nealt down and told them to cut it out.
I walk about 4 feet away from the cart....my back turned to the cart....The lady moves down the isle. I slightly turn to look at something...and out of the corner of my eye...I notice the gal bent down near my cart...now I'm an up front and honest person. I turn thinking maybe my cart is in her way.....hmm she's talking to my kids...nice enough and harmless.....so I go over and move the cart ahead so that she may have view of the lower shelf she was bent down in front of.
And I tell you I gotta love my 9 yr old. The lady continues to look and he blunrts out quite loudly. "Mom, why was that lady asking me if I was your son?" My jaw dropped and I knew she could hear him. I say "I dont know Taylor...what did she say." He looks at her ...with a kinda afraid of getting in trouble look...then says "she asked if you were my mom...and said if you weren't it was okay she would help me."
I'm sorry but I don't care if I'm a God fearing woman or not. I wanted--I wished--I desperatly wanted to be 8 again. I wanted to elbow her, and yell at her and tattle tale on her and go into an all out sister like fight, I imagine pulling her hair out..calling her names that I knew were in my head but normally aren't spoken. Luckily for her I have alot of patience. But, also in a situation like this...there's not alot you can do. I get this all the time as my long time readers know. But... for goodness sake...I wanted to take her by her hair and twirl her around 360 like you see inthe movies...lol. I had soo much anger I could feel my face filling with redness and begining to tingle. Only in my head I saw her fate to be anything but fun or happy. Gosh how much I miss being a kid.
I then looked over to her and said please do not speak to MY children again. I think what you just did was very inappropiate and uncalled for. She looked at me and says something to the effect of how young I look. I just took the kid and pushed the cart away. Nothing iriatates me more then peoples own stupidity.
Now ont he other hand I maybe ....ha...I said maybe right....can see where she was coming from. At least she had the balls to say something...as many children are kidnapped or locked in cars or horrriable things and no one says anything...but I mean come on it was pretty obvious...to me and hundreds of other I guess...LOL I feel like I should have to wear a shirt around that says. "I HAD A KID AT 15" then on the back a short essay about how I have a great job, 4 degrees a loving husband and well behaved great children that are well cared for in everyway possiable. Go figure I'd post this right after expectations.....ahhhhhhh people....get a clue...really. know I'm not the only person who looks 16 at 24...lol and I sure in the hell know I'm not the first or last to have a child ata a early age...
Ok ladies lets here it ....I want to hear when you most wanted to be a kid again...was it for the fun or for the stuff you could get away with, witht a time out or grounding or spanking.
Showing posts with label moms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label moms. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Being A Fiance and Wife
Is full of expectations. Expectations of your self, expectations from other moms, expectations from your fiance, expectations from people who don't even know you. No matter who you are, how you live, what you believe in there are always expectations......both good and bad.
I personally believe a wife is a servant to her husband.....ha I get looks all the time when I say that...esp. from the womans right gas, but I consider being a servant much different then those who choose to judge my way of life. I am not enslaved to my husband....but thats how they translate what I say...something so simple can cause someones expectations of you to drop because your not always in the appropiate spot or have appropiate time to explain such a remark about how you feel husband and wife are.
People speak to me on the phone concerning my preschool, they are thrilled, excited and ready to meet me. I am very honest with others I am upfront aout my age and my childrens ages. I used to hide my age, hide the fact that I was 15 when I had a child, but in a sense when I did that I felt shameful. I had a healthy, intelligent, well behaved and brough up child. Why would I hide the small fact of how old I was when he was conceived, I did so because I was scared. the 30 and 40 something moms would look at me when they heard that and it's like the respect they held for me drifted away like a fog cloud. In my eyes it showed how strong I was, hoe determined I was, how responsible I am. But none the less their expectations clearly slipped away, some blunt enough to tell me and some draw the conclusion I was a whore or some just hide the feelings but their face told their story. Expectations are soo scary. Expectations can hurt us. Expectations can fog our brans into thinking what we think is right maybe may not be. Expectations can never fully be lived up to.
Maybe there are expectations on how you handle your children, hoe you clean your home, your faith, your body. I know some woman whom I over hear speaking often discussing how their husbands would prolly leave them if they gained weight. Now I'm sure most are a bit of a stretch but none the less that expectation to remain in "good fitness" surrounds us even more as women. There are so many expecations. those of you whom work may be met with exectations of balancing work and home and doing it to meet certian standards. I work from home and find it even more taxing then when i worked outside of the home.
We can set them to high for even ourselves. As a wife, mother and preschool teacher i have many parents whom set the bar for their expectations of me very high. I tell them from the begining, I am not perfect, can not please eveyone and always try my best. I may have one parent whom thinks it's horriable that there are dirty dishes in the sink when she gets her child or messy tables, mean while I have another whom thinks my house looks appropiate for running a preschool. You can't win them all....and wil die trying. I know I used to bend over backwards...trying to please all.
I had it maped out how I was going to perfectly balance being a mother to my three children, run a preschool and be a wife, not to mention all the things that come between. But, truth be told....I laughed after fully thinking about it all. Expectations are normal. Christ had expectations for adam and eve...we may not see it that way but He did to me anyway. But, why have expectations become something in this world that we fear. Why have they become something so relevant in this world....you look at even the newpapers, teens killing themselves over college grades, mothers being judged everyday on some new talk show something is being challenged, I enjoy learning about new things as much as everyone else but when it feels as thought because you think, feel or act a certain way you may be stoned....lol I often feel like this when people find out how old I am, i am well educated and a great mom...or as great as I can be...and yet people have expecatations that say if you not 25 or older...what int he hell were you thinking...always makes me laugh cause i know many of them...and they were poppin many guys...they just didn't get caught...much less get pregnant and yet I'm the one judged. I never allowed my son to have a dripple of soda or store bought juice or candy until after he was 5....it was nothing that killed him but I found people and their expectations of me were unbelievable. i was doing something right and still seemed to failt o meet their expectations because I wasn't allowing him to experience things...HA I changed my way a bit over time but my chilren still are not allowed store bought juice or soda....lol
I try to have little to know expecatations of others. When I do I'd like to think they are modest and non-judgemental because of all I have been through. But, why...why all the thoughts that our beliefs and thoughts and ways of doing things are better and why when we hear otherwise from our peers, family or friends do we not take that as they are different...just that different...how often do you spend the time to ask questions or get to know them before lowering your expectations of a person.
i guess there's not too big of a point to this entry but I just wanted to share. And hopefully get people thinking about their own expectations of people. That everyone can makes mistakes, bad thoughts and well be human. Try to make your expectations relistic.
I personally believe a wife is a servant to her husband.....ha I get looks all the time when I say that...esp. from the womans right gas, but I consider being a servant much different then those who choose to judge my way of life. I am not enslaved to my husband....but thats how they translate what I say...something so simple can cause someones expectations of you to drop because your not always in the appropiate spot or have appropiate time to explain such a remark about how you feel husband and wife are.
People speak to me on the phone concerning my preschool, they are thrilled, excited and ready to meet me. I am very honest with others I am upfront aout my age and my childrens ages. I used to hide my age, hide the fact that I was 15 when I had a child, but in a sense when I did that I felt shameful. I had a healthy, intelligent, well behaved and brough up child. Why would I hide the small fact of how old I was when he was conceived, I did so because I was scared. the 30 and 40 something moms would look at me when they heard that and it's like the respect they held for me drifted away like a fog cloud. In my eyes it showed how strong I was, hoe determined I was, how responsible I am. But none the less their expectations clearly slipped away, some blunt enough to tell me and some draw the conclusion I was a whore or some just hide the feelings but their face told their story. Expectations are soo scary. Expectations can hurt us. Expectations can fog our brans into thinking what we think is right maybe may not be. Expectations can never fully be lived up to.
Maybe there are expectations on how you handle your children, hoe you clean your home, your faith, your body. I know some woman whom I over hear speaking often discussing how their husbands would prolly leave them if they gained weight. Now I'm sure most are a bit of a stretch but none the less that expectation to remain in "good fitness" surrounds us even more as women. There are so many expecations. those of you whom work may be met with exectations of balancing work and home and doing it to meet certian standards. I work from home and find it even more taxing then when i worked outside of the home.
We can set them to high for even ourselves. As a wife, mother and preschool teacher i have many parents whom set the bar for their expectations of me very high. I tell them from the begining, I am not perfect, can not please eveyone and always try my best. I may have one parent whom thinks it's horriable that there are dirty dishes in the sink when she gets her child or messy tables, mean while I have another whom thinks my house looks appropiate for running a preschool. You can't win them all....and wil die trying. I know I used to bend over backwards...trying to please all.
I had it maped out how I was going to perfectly balance being a mother to my three children, run a preschool and be a wife, not to mention all the things that come between. But, truth be told....I laughed after fully thinking about it all. Expectations are normal. Christ had expectations for adam and eve...we may not see it that way but He did to me anyway. But, why have expectations become something in this world that we fear. Why have they become something so relevant in this world....you look at even the newpapers, teens killing themselves over college grades, mothers being judged everyday on some new talk show something is being challenged, I enjoy learning about new things as much as everyone else but when it feels as thought because you think, feel or act a certain way you may be stoned....lol I often feel like this when people find out how old I am, i am well educated and a great mom...or as great as I can be...and yet people have expecatations that say if you not 25 or older...what int he hell were you thinking...always makes me laugh cause i know many of them...and they were poppin many guys...they just didn't get caught...much less get pregnant and yet I'm the one judged. I never allowed my son to have a dripple of soda or store bought juice or candy until after he was 5....it was nothing that killed him but I found people and their expectations of me were unbelievable. i was doing something right and still seemed to failt o meet their expectations because I wasn't allowing him to experience things...HA I changed my way a bit over time but my chilren still are not allowed store bought juice or soda....lol
I try to have little to know expecatations of others. When I do I'd like to think they are modest and non-judgemental because of all I have been through. But, why...why all the thoughts that our beliefs and thoughts and ways of doing things are better and why when we hear otherwise from our peers, family or friends do we not take that as they are different...just that different...how often do you spend the time to ask questions or get to know them before lowering your expectations of a person.
i guess there's not too big of a point to this entry but I just wanted to share. And hopefully get people thinking about their own expectations of people. That everyone can makes mistakes, bad thoughts and well be human. Try to make your expectations relistic.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
The inevitable question- How Come?
How come 2 weeks ago I was soo sick....like on the death bed kinda sick. You fellow moms know what this feels like. To be sick and yet the home still needs to be ran. Well for me I also have other peoples children in my home 24 hrs a day. So, my clock never stops.
But, how come when I was sick, I rec. no sympathy from parents or the hubby...HOW COME!! Everyone just considered me to need to stay on the ball. I stil needed to cook, clean, teach, pick up, drop off, wake up everything just the same.....hmmmm
Now how come this week the hubby was sick....every parents asked repeatedly about how he was doing...hahahaha, even gave adive on meds and such. How come he was able to lock himself in a room for 4 days only come out when he needed me for something...how in the heck come.
I swear I just dont get it...I mean I realize I am super woman...lol...but all jokes aside...how come when a woman much less a mom gets sick...no one seems to care....its like everyother day...but now when a man gets sick the world quits spinning for him. I have had many older gals...gosh I love their wisdom tell me..."hmmm hun thats just the way it is really...men are wimps" Hahahahah soo funny...but what does a gal have to do to get someone to pick up some of the slack when shes down and out....
It just seems that moms in general are seen doing it all-----all the time---because after all we're super heros---I mean we do more then many men can accomplish in a week in one day...but we're seen as like this rock....that unless bedded in a hosital stays strong no matter what. While I embrace this thought I also would have loved and pleaded for someone to tell me to go to bed for 4 days....lol
Ok, so don't get me wrong ladies...I'm in no way upset...i just find this somewhat humorous and aww inspiring...we are the Rocks that hold our families together and it's great knowing this...but every now and then a rock just needs a break...lol
But, how come when I was sick, I rec. no sympathy from parents or the hubby...HOW COME!! Everyone just considered me to need to stay on the ball. I stil needed to cook, clean, teach, pick up, drop off, wake up everything just the same.....hmmmm
Now how come this week the hubby was sick....every parents asked repeatedly about how he was doing...hahahaha, even gave adive on meds and such. How come he was able to lock himself in a room for 4 days only come out when he needed me for something...how in the heck come.
I swear I just dont get it...I mean I realize I am super woman...lol...but all jokes aside...how come when a woman much less a mom gets sick...no one seems to care....its like everyother day...but now when a man gets sick the world quits spinning for him. I have had many older gals...gosh I love their wisdom tell me..."hmmm hun thats just the way it is really...men are wimps" Hahahahah soo funny...but what does a gal have to do to get someone to pick up some of the slack when shes down and out....
It just seems that moms in general are seen doing it all-----all the time---because after all we're super heros---I mean we do more then many men can accomplish in a week in one day...but we're seen as like this rock....that unless bedded in a hosital stays strong no matter what. While I embrace this thought I also would have loved and pleaded for someone to tell me to go to bed for 4 days....lol
Ok, so don't get me wrong ladies...I'm in no way upset...i just find this somewhat humorous and aww inspiring...we are the Rocks that hold our families together and it's great knowing this...but every now and then a rock just needs a break...lol
Friday, October 17, 2008
AHHHHHH---HELP
So, this one is going to be a bit more of a venting and ranting session than anything. LOL I can't help it I'm just very peeved.
So, I have 4 girls from the same mother. Now, I don't like saying anything bad about anyone but oh my goodness I'm at my wits end trying to figure this girl out. Everyday her kids show at 8 am...2 of them anyway...then i get the other 2 at 11 when kindergarten is out...NOw, I dont have them three days out of the week now because of her schedule. It was suppose to be the days they are here by 8....they are picke dup by 8...and then the days they come at 11 they get picked up at about 11 at night...but it's turned into her running around town with her friends and such before and after work...and she just leaves these poor kids here....they never see her.
While I am greatful they can be with me...someone stable with a schedule and learning activities...it's gotten to the point...that their teachers speak more with me concerning the children and their behavior than they do their mother.
Last week she called and said she was getting off work early to take the kids to the fair......at like 6:30 she would be here right ater supper to get them.....so I told them and they were sooooooo excited!!! Then she didnt show so I called her...and texted her...cause one of the girls was making herself sick she was sooo upset about her not showing.....the mother showed no remorse and didn't care.....so 8 rolls around and the hubby watched them and helps them get ready for bed and I run to go get soem milk....and what do I see.....but shes at the fair with a bunch of the carney guys hanging out!!!!!!!!
I felt sooo bad for these poor kids...cant't even tell them honestly moms at work.....so I'm waiting and waiting for her...texting her that now 2 of the girls were really upset.....and again NOTHING!!! Then she doesn't show up until almost mid-night- which would have been the normal time to come...but........she said she was coming early!!!! Then when she showed she reaked of beer and cigs!!!! I was sooo sooo peeved for myself and those poor girls....
I re-eliterate how upset the girls were and she goes into a long story of having to work over-time and blah blah blah...then she say "GOSH I DONT KNOW WHY THEY ARE SO UPSET I JUST SPENT 3 DAYS WITH THEM" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Talk about making this mama mad!!! I was at a loss of words.
Now, its not just this- she also drops the girls off late to school everyday...and the schools policy for tardiness is if the kids are late 5 days in a row they have to spend their recess in the office in time out...whihc i think is nuts and have tried to talk to them...as they know me more then the mother....but....its policy...and so for the past three weeks the girls have gotten no recess cause after the 5th day...each day afterwards that they are late they are in the office until they are there on time!! And the mom has been told this and just doesnt care...says shes always going to be late cause shes up late and has 4 kids to get ready.......granit I know how hard it can be but i get to the school on time with 10!!!!! So, I know she can do it if she tried!
Now, I watch these children cause the office at the school knows me and what I do and was hoping I could give the kids some balance and stability cause they were getting picked up late and never knowing who was getting them...and I get paid by SRS and really do need the income from these children...but ahhhhhh it just leave sme without words of sickness for these poor kid and her complete lack of parenting.
I was a single mom and know how hard it can be...but gosh she's not even trying. Even on the days I dont have the children I wait at the school for someone to pick up the girls....as somedays they dont know who's getting them.....Two days ago...i waited for 45 minutes with them...calling everyone I knew might be coming....no one was suppose to come get them...then I see mom drive by and stop by the fair grounds...as they were packing up and geting ready to leave....here her kids sit waiting and worring about if they will get picked up or if I will take them.....
I ended up taking them home with me...then I get a call from mom....she says ohhhh I was doing dishes and was going to be on time today and time just got away from me......and I was like I saw your car by the fair grounds though....and she says ohhhhh well someone else has my car...so I say then how you going to pick them up......she had no answer and showed up minutes later in her car! ahhhhhhhhhhhh
My heart just aches for these poor kids.....I feel for them....and try to offer the mom advice but at the same time don't want to push her away cause who knows where these poor kids would end up at then and I really can't loose that income and try to find 4 more kids right now.
Any adivice would be more than helpful and I am at a loss right now. They show up and some weeks spend 65 hours a week with me....so I am pratically raising them...which looks better now bu I also only get paid for 45 hours a week....I mean I shower them, feed them 3 times a day put them to bed....I do homework with them I do it all!!! Now, i know she's taking advantage, but at the smae point I really want the girls to have the stability and love I knw they rec. from me and my family...as they get to do alot with us that they'd never have the options to do with theri lacking mother.
HELP!!
So, I have 4 girls from the same mother. Now, I don't like saying anything bad about anyone but oh my goodness I'm at my wits end trying to figure this girl out. Everyday her kids show at 8 am...2 of them anyway...then i get the other 2 at 11 when kindergarten is out...NOw, I dont have them three days out of the week now because of her schedule. It was suppose to be the days they are here by 8....they are picke dup by 8...and then the days they come at 11 they get picked up at about 11 at night...but it's turned into her running around town with her friends and such before and after work...and she just leaves these poor kids here....they never see her.
While I am greatful they can be with me...someone stable with a schedule and learning activities...it's gotten to the point...that their teachers speak more with me concerning the children and their behavior than they do their mother.
Last week she called and said she was getting off work early to take the kids to the fair......at like 6:30 she would be here right ater supper to get them.....so I told them and they were sooooooo excited!!! Then she didnt show so I called her...and texted her...cause one of the girls was making herself sick she was sooo upset about her not showing.....the mother showed no remorse and didn't care.....so 8 rolls around and the hubby watched them and helps them get ready for bed and I run to go get soem milk....and what do I see.....but shes at the fair with a bunch of the carney guys hanging out!!!!!!!!
I felt sooo bad for these poor kids...cant't even tell them honestly moms at work.....so I'm waiting and waiting for her...texting her that now 2 of the girls were really upset.....and again NOTHING!!! Then she doesn't show up until almost mid-night- which would have been the normal time to come...but........she said she was coming early!!!! Then when she showed she reaked of beer and cigs!!!! I was sooo sooo peeved for myself and those poor girls....
I re-eliterate how upset the girls were and she goes into a long story of having to work over-time and blah blah blah...then she say "GOSH I DONT KNOW WHY THEY ARE SO UPSET I JUST SPENT 3 DAYS WITH THEM" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Talk about making this mama mad!!! I was at a loss of words.
Now, its not just this- she also drops the girls off late to school everyday...and the schools policy for tardiness is if the kids are late 5 days in a row they have to spend their recess in the office in time out...whihc i think is nuts and have tried to talk to them...as they know me more then the mother....but....its policy...and so for the past three weeks the girls have gotten no recess cause after the 5th day...each day afterwards that they are late they are in the office until they are there on time!! And the mom has been told this and just doesnt care...says shes always going to be late cause shes up late and has 4 kids to get ready.......granit I know how hard it can be but i get to the school on time with 10!!!!! So, I know she can do it if she tried!
Now, I watch these children cause the office at the school knows me and what I do and was hoping I could give the kids some balance and stability cause they were getting picked up late and never knowing who was getting them...and I get paid by SRS and really do need the income from these children...but ahhhhhh it just leave sme without words of sickness for these poor kid and her complete lack of parenting.
I was a single mom and know how hard it can be...but gosh she's not even trying. Even on the days I dont have the children I wait at the school for someone to pick up the girls....as somedays they dont know who's getting them.....Two days ago...i waited for 45 minutes with them...calling everyone I knew might be coming....no one was suppose to come get them...then I see mom drive by and stop by the fair grounds...as they were packing up and geting ready to leave....here her kids sit waiting and worring about if they will get picked up or if I will take them.....
I ended up taking them home with me...then I get a call from mom....she says ohhhh I was doing dishes and was going to be on time today and time just got away from me......and I was like I saw your car by the fair grounds though....and she says ohhhhh well someone else has my car...so I say then how you going to pick them up......she had no answer and showed up minutes later in her car! ahhhhhhhhhhhh
My heart just aches for these poor kids.....I feel for them....and try to offer the mom advice but at the same time don't want to push her away cause who knows where these poor kids would end up at then and I really can't loose that income and try to find 4 more kids right now.
Any adivice would be more than helpful and I am at a loss right now. They show up and some weeks spend 65 hours a week with me....so I am pratically raising them...which looks better now bu I also only get paid for 45 hours a week....I mean I shower them, feed them 3 times a day put them to bed....I do homework with them I do it all!!! Now, i know she's taking advantage, but at the smae point I really want the girls to have the stability and love I knw they rec. from me and my family...as they get to do alot with us that they'd never have the options to do with theri lacking mother.
HELP!!
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