Does anyone else feel as though they are one of those little clowns on the uni-cycle you see in the circus?
I often feel like that poor guy...in the beginning balancing is fine...but then u add a stick and a plate to balance while riding and u get thrown off a bit. Then add some balls or other odd object to it and it just keeps getting crazier. You find yourself trying to balance all the objects but really you no longer see the individual objects...just the overall task of making sure they all stay off the ground.
I have found that even more so since becoming a single mom again I often feel the burn of this task. I am balancing a number of different things. I can feel them all weighing on me...however if asked I'm not always sure I can mention them all...I just know their there. Does that make sense. It's like my girlfriend asking whats new in life. Of course I have new things and new stresses and new joys...however when asked can I name things...of course not. I can name the most current things...say those that have occurred within the last few hours. I know their weighing on me and in my mind and being mentally or physically balanced but putting them into words....hmmm i sometime fall short on,
I remember a time when I loved writing....honestly I still have a great passion for writing...always working on a book I have in the works....but somehow its always on the back burner. Used to blog alot more but the balancing has moved it to one of those items I carry under my arm...pull out every now and then but not really paying attention to it. i used to have insightful thoughts and observations...now its more like rants and raves. My brain is mush by 8pm most evenings. I don't want to think much less spell check or form full thoughts.
I'm like every other mother I suppose. I know I'm balancing it all. Not always sure how well. I love the encouragement i rec. from Friends and family...really i do. Some days it means alot to me. Other day its just feels as though its one more person I have to explain everything too....
Here lately I've been not so good at balancing my thoughts. End result...I just blurt out whatever is on my mind without thinking...lol..much easier...however, I have found that not thinking before speaking, causes many mis-understandings...lol...so there's no winning these days in my book.
We all balance a number of things in life and each person has their own order of balance. For me...well there's no real order to be honest. I evaluate what need immediate attention and of course things that should always have top position but the rest just kinda hangs there waiting...ick...thats what I have to say about that...lol.
This post really has no meaning or any direction...just random thoughts and things...lol